


Waiting to Take You Away

by thehatpotato



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Cousin Incest, Crack, Drugs, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Love, Love Confessions, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29091396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehatpotato/pseuds/thehatpotato
Summary: George Michael is high... on love. Or something. George Michael/Maeby songfic to "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by The Beatles. Crackfic.
Relationships: George Michael Bluth/Maeby Funke
Kudos: 3





	Waiting to Take You Away

**Author's Note:**

> Arrested Development George Michael/Maeby songfic to "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by The Beatles. Ship and song were both chosen by a random number generator. Lyrics with quotation marks are literal dialogue, lyrics without quotes are not. Enjoy!

" _Picture yourself in a boat on a river_ "

"Umm, why?" Maeby questioned.

" _With tangerine trees and marmalade skies_ "

"Oh ok, you're high."

" _Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly_ "

"Was it Gob? Did he give you some of his "herbal speedballs"?

_A girl with kaleidoscope eyes_

"Your eyes are really pretty," George Michael gushed.

_Cellophane flowers of yellow and green_

"And, umm I got you some flowers." He pulled a bouquet of plastic flowers from his coat sleeve.

"Yeah, ok, you definitely visited Gob."

"No, no, nooo, Gob's my man, you know. I didn't _see_ him, I _saw_ him." George Michael pointed at her forehead.

_Towering over your head_

He laughed out loud, "And _you're_ SHORT." And fell over.

"My legs!" he screamed. "Oh the humanity, where did my legs gooo?"

"Let's get you into bed." Maeby grunted, trying to push him across the carpet.

"Rug burn!"

"Shut up."

George giggled, "You know, _you're_ kinda a rug burn."

"Yeah, okay." Someone help her, why was her face heating up? He called her a _rug burn_.

"Where are we?"

"A house."

" _Why_ are we?"

Maeby grabbed his hands and pulled. "42."

After much difficulty and many complaints, Maeby managed to get him into bed.

"So, why did you go to Gob in the first place?" Maeby asked.

"Oh, umm, well my girlfriend broke up with me?"

"The redhead?"

"No, her head was white… her arms were white, too."

_Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes_

_And she's gone_

"Well, she didn't actually say the words to me. She just kinda… left. I think she turned into the sun."

"That's rough, buddy."

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"So anyway, I went to Gob."

"Yeah?"

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"And he gave me some funny tasting gummy bears."

"Okay."

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"And then he gave me some advice."

"Yes?"

"He said, 'If a pitcher swings a miss every single touchdown, he still always returns to base'. It really resonated with me. And then he gave me this."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a _diamond ring_?

_Ah_

"Ahh… wait, what? Why did I say 'ah'? And why did he give you a diamond ring? How did he _have_ a diamond ring?" Maeby rambled.

_Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain_

"Gob made me realize who I actually wanted. So I followed you home."

Maeby stared out of a conveniently placed window. Down below was a bridge that led straight to her makeshift house.

" _Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies_ "

"You don't know what you're saying."

" _Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers_ "

"How many of those pills did you take?"

" _That grow so incredibly high_ "

"You're right, you _are_ incredibly high."

" _Newspaper taxis appear on the shore_ "

"You managed to get a taxi in this state?"

" _Waiting to take you away_ "

She looked back at him. "Take me where?"

_Climb in the back with your head in the clouds_

"Everywhere."

"I'm gonna kill Gob the next time I see him."

" _And you're gone_ "

"George, I'm right here."

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"Maeby."

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"What?" she asked, exasperated.

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

He gestured to the ring, "Will you marry me?"

_Ah_

"AHHHH!" she screamed, and she meant it this time. Her eyes bulged.

" _Picture yourself on a train in a station_ "

"Wait, wh- ? Back it up, defense. What did you just say?"

" _With plasticine porters with looking glass ties_ "

She grabbed the front of his shirt in desperation.

" _Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile_ "

"Who?"

_The girl with the kaleidoscope eyes_

"You," he whispered.

He pulled her in and crashed his lips to hers. Her hands tangled into his curls, while her lips squirmed against him. It was clunky and awkward, and a little lopsided, but, at that moment, she couldn't imagine a more perfect kiss.

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"What are we doing? Do you even like me?" she asked.

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"Maeby, I love you." he sighed.

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"Wait. Are you saying 'Maybe I love you' or 'Maeby, I love you?'"

"You. I love _you_. I have for years."

_Ah_

"Ahh," she whimpered.

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"So will you marry me?" he grabbed her left hand, and positioned the ring.

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"We're cousins."

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"I don't care. And not actually. It's really in name only. Believe me, I researched this."

_Ah_

"Ahmhm." she squeaked.

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"You're high."

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"No, I'm not."

"What?" she pulled away. Now that she thought about it, his last few sentences _had_ been considerably sober.

He looked up at the ceiling sheepishly. "Umm, so, in truth, Uncle Gob _did_ give me herbal speedballs. But I didn't take them. I just… you know… thought that this would be easier to do if I pretended to be stoned."

"You're so stupid," she snorted. "In what world would that have worked?"

"I might be stupid, but I'm entirely serious."

"What about everyone else?" Her brain tried to convince herself that it was _not_ considering this.

"I don't care about anyone else. But also, I think they all know. That's why Gob gave me the ring. He said to go find you."

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"So, Maeby Fünke," he started. "Wait, I'm not doing this right." He crawled out of bed, knelt to the floor, and got on one knee. "Maeby Fünke, will you marry me?"

Maeby looked around and wondered just how she had managed to get herself in this situation. But then she looked back at his face and his hopeful eyes, and the glittering diamond that was almost certainly stolen, and knew there was only one right answer.

"Yes? Yes."

She pulled him up for another kiss, gentler this time. Making up for lost time.

They separated, finally, and she smiled at him. Then, "Wait, you're saying you made me drag you across the house and into bed, and you weren't even high?"

He looked down sheepishly, "Maybe."

"What?" she snapped.

"No, I mean- "

She lunged towards him, laughing. "You fat, lazy slug!" He dashed out of the bedroom and she chased after him, grinning like an idiot.

He was a moron.

But he was her moron.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!


End file.
